Posts by Deborah Pulis
The Gift of Intergenerational Dialogue (Part 6)
Think about the divisions facing our country right now. We can’t agree on the best way to approach education, healthcare, crime, and so many other important topics. We can (mostly) agree that our current system is broken, but there’s no consensus on the best path to improvement. I don’t want to suggest that there is…
Read MoreFrom Grief to Gratitude (Part 5)
What if it isn’t possible to be at peace with yourself unless you are at peace with your parents? What if the next step toward healing from childhood wounds is a step toward the people who wounded you? [This is Part 5 of a series on the Parent/Child Relationship.Find previous posts here: Part 1, Part…
Read MoreConfronting Our Wounds (Part 4)
In my previous post, I suggested that the number one reason we don’t feel ready to take responsibility for our part in our relationship with our parents is that we feel wounded. We may not think of ourselves as wounded. We may feel like we’re doing just fine. But if you feel a vague sense…
Read MoreCan One Person Always Change the System? (Part 3)
The idea that “one person can change the system” sounds nice in theory, but when we think about applying it to our real-life relationships, it may start to feel elusive. What if I feel like I have no power in the relationship? What if there’s no relationship left between us? My parents hurt me badly –…
Read MoreOne Person Can Change the System (Part 2)
What if it’s their fault? “What if my parents don’t cooperate?” A friend asked me this question when I told her about the coaching course I was leading this summer. The course is designed to help adults improve their relationship with their parents, and a number of people expressed similar concerns when they heard my…
Read MoreThe Dynamics of the Parent/Child Relationship (Part 1)
Have you ever wondered why your relationship with your parents is so challenging? (Or if you have a great relationship with your parents, maybe you’ve seen friends and siblings struggle and wondered why.) In this post, I want to explore why the parent/child relationship can be so challenging – I would argue it is the most difficult type of…
Read MoreThe Importance of Incompetence
Embracing Incompetence I’ve taught piano lessons a few times as a side gig, and one thing that new students always seems to have in common is that they get frustrated with their “lack of progress.” This is especially true for adult students. It can be their first lesson – they have never touched a piano…
Read MoreLife After Death (A Post-Easter Reflection)
Ideas are incredibly powerful, much more so than we tend to imagine. I know someone who constantly wrestles with the belief that she is destined to fail out of school and end up addicted on the streets, like her mom. This belief is the single most important factor pushing her toward that destiny. When she…
Read MoreOur “Invisible” Sickness
I want to briefly interrupt my “How Change Happens” series to share a reflection on a topic that has become a fire in my belly. In the big picture, the topic is how consumerism is the enemy of creativity and connection. What follows is not the grand manifesto that I hope to one day write;…
Read MoreOne Simple Tool to Jumpstart Your Transformation Journey
I aspire to be the kind of person who wakes up before sunrise to get in 2-3 hours of writing before the official “work day” begins. Today, I woke up around 8:30am, lay in bed for another hour, read for a bit, ate breakfast, and finally sat down to write at 10:41am. The above paragraph…
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