Posts by Deborah Pulis
How to Depolarize Our Political Conversations
“I know it is conventional to say we Americans are radically divided, polarized. But this is not more true than its opposite—in essential ways we share false assumptions and flawed conclusions that are never effectively examined because they are indeed shared.” – Marilynne Robinson This past week I started reading Marilynne Robinson’s collection of essays,…
Read MoreThe Disruption of the Nuclear Family
Earlier this summer, when Black Lives Matter was getting all the social media buzz, and many white people were trying to figure out what to think about everything going on, there was a phrase in the BLM belief statement that seemed to upset a lot of people. It was given by many as a reason…
Read MoreAm I a Racist?
Are you sure that’s how it happened? Maybe you’re reading into things. If they would stop playing the victim and work hard, black people would be just fine. We didn’t see what happened off camera. He was obviously up to no good. But what about black-on-black crime? I have heard a lot of well-meaning white…
Read MoreCreate More Than You Consume (Guiding Principles of Slowing, #5)
[Author’s note: I wrote this post before the the chaos of COVID-19 was fully upon us, but I think it applies now more than ever. Many of us find ourselves with unprecedented amounts of free time and/or alone time and are wondering what to do with ourselves. The temptation may be to dig our heels…
Read MoreLet Go of Habits That Increase Your Suffering (Or, “Have a DTR With Your Phone”) (Guiding Principles of Slowing, #4)
I titled this post “Let go of habits that increase your suffering” because I think my message can apply to a wide range of compulsive habits. The main point is, let’s be reflective and honest with ourselves about patterns in our lives that are crushing our souls rather than giving us life. But I wanted…
Read MoreYou are a human, not a machine. (Or, “Treat your body as you would your child.”) (Guiding Principles of Slowing, #3)
When I first started working for Body Oak Cliff, I was a merciless taskmaster. I would sit at my desk in our windowless, fluorescently-lit office and command myself to complete my to do list. It might be 2 or 3 o’clock in the afternoon, and I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast (if I’d remembered to…
Read MoreWake up to the World Around You (Guiding Principles of Slowing, #2)
There is a lot of talk these days about being “woke” or “enlightened” or “evolved,” as if those are states of being that some elite few exist in, while the rest of us carry on as primitive creatures. And while I may be tempted to fall into this line of thinking from time to time,…
Read MoreDo One Thing at a Time (Guiding Principles for Slowing, #1)
The title of this post represents the first Guiding Principle that I want to offer as a path out of Consumerism and into a life where Presence and Creativity are possible. (I am calling this second pathway, “Slowing.”) Do one thing at a time. We start here because it is a simple maxim with life-altering…
Read MoreSlowing: An Antidote to Consumerism
In each and every moment, love is available to us in such quantities that, even if spread across the span of a natural human life, we could not fully enjoy or appreciate it. Every moment is bursting with life – life abundant, the kind of life that both awakens and nearly (but not quite) satisfies…
Read MoreThere’s No Such Thing as Perfect Parenting (A Final Reflection)
When I’m a parent, I’m going to do better. That’s what I told myself when I went through Faithwalking in 2013 and learned that we all have childhood wounds, many of which are caused by our parents. Armed with the knowledge and experience of those retreats, I felt powerful and sure-footed. I knew all the…
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