Posts by Deborah Pulis

The Slow Path from Panic to Peace

Two days before Thanksgiving I had a panic attack. I didn’t know it was a panic attack at the time, but when I described the symptoms to a friend – elevated heart rate for days on end, extreme muscle tension, chest pain, the inability to calm my body even when my brain knew I wasn’t…

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Moving Toward Suffering

Over spring break, I got to go on vacation with Joel’s family. We stayed in a whimsical cottage outside of Wimberley, and for the most part had a lovely time. The second night, however, we heard a scream from the loft upstairs. Grace had been practicing a dance on the slick wood floors and had…

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Acceptance & Vulnerability

The Fear of Being Seen One of my oldest, strongest longings is the desire to be deeply known. This might surprise people who knew me as a child, because I was very reserved in most settings and rarely offered up information about myself. In fact, the thought of drawing people’s attention terrified me. I read…

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When Encouragement Doesn’t Work: A Story of Shame

 If you follow our blog, then you’ve heard about the transition we’re currently walking through at Body Oak Cliff. (If you missed it – read about Joel’s departure here.) As you can probably imagine, this change has stirred up a lot for me – grief about not working as closely with Joel, insecurity about my…

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He Carries Us Close to His Heart (Advent 2017)

One of the Advent passages for this week contains one of my favorite verses of all time (Isa. 40:11): He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. I’m not sure there’s a more gentle, tender image…

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Presence & Longing (Advent 2017)

  All God’s gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene. (1 Cor. 1:7)     Thanksgiving was a really hard day for me this year. People always say that the holidays can be hard, but I’d never felt it as acutely as…

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Making Space for the Unknown

[This is Part 2 of a 3 part series. If you missed Part 1 – “What You Don’t Know You Don’t Know” – find it here.] Have you ever had a brilliant idea in the shower? Or while sitting on the toilet? For me, my moment of insight comes every Wednesday evening when I go…

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What You Don’t Know You Don’t Know

Quick: think of 3 things that you know. Here’s mine, off the top of my head: I know that my name is Deborah. I know that 2+2=4. I know how to drive a car. Now think of 3 things that you don’t know. Again, off the top of my head: I don’t know how to…

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